One of the most rewarding elements of being in a relationship involves having kids. It was most couples aim for, and yes, having children is an amazing experience. But they also change things, like putting a damper on your sex life. Because where you once saw your partner as a lover, you now also consider them a caretaker and a parent. And when this perception kicks in, it naturally takes away from the wild sex life you had before.
So, if you and your partner find that you are struggling to get back on track sexually, here are some secrets on how to maintain a sex life after having children.
Come Up With A Schedule
While it might sound blunt and straightforward, you have to start being practical about your sex life if you still want to have one. It becomes more than just about finding a sturdy mattress.
Things are different now, which means you cannot just enjoy the moment when it strikes. Hence the reason for setting aside special time specifically for intimacy. But what is romantic about setting a time for sex?
At face value, it doesn’t sound romantic. Although, you can make it romantic by building up to the moment. For example, you can send each other texts about what you would like to do when the time comes. There are many ways you can hype up your partner and make them very excited about sex at a specific time.
Get Away From The House
Getting away from familiar surroundings tends to be, in itself, a natural aphrodisiac. Plus, when you are staying over at a hotel for the weekend, you do not have to worry about the kids walking in at the most embarrassing moment. Thus, if your finances allow it, try to spend one or two weekends a month away from the kids. And go to different places as much as possible. Keep in mind that you are trying to break away from the lifestyle you already know.
Get The Kids Away From The House
Alternatively, you can make arrangements for the kids to be gone when you want to have a special night. Do you have family or friends who are willing to babysit? Or why not hire a babysitter to safely keep your kids busy away from home? The point is to become proactive. Because you are not going to get out of a rut if you don’t put in the effort. Which is exactly what you need to do here if you are serious about getting your sex life back on track.
Start Talking About Sexual Fantasies
One of the best things you can do is openly talk with your partner about your sexual fantasies. Remember that people change over time, and so do their preferences. Yes, even when it comes to sex. And for all you know, you and your partner lost your sexual connection because you stopped sharing what you truly desire. So, while kids definitely have an impact on your sex life, they are not the only barriers.
At the end of the day, it takes hard work to keep a relationship healthy and sexually exciting. Don’t be afraid to explore new things, be open and honest with your partner, and start getting practical.